FOLLOW THE FEELING PART 22(ENTIRE FREE NOVEL)

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She had the odd visitor who interrupted the ever deepening and harsher breaths of his mam and thoughts of solitude and hope springing eternally.

How they marvelled:

-It’s not our Pat is it? She had so much, so much…well y’know she was your mother…

-It’s a shame isn’t it that it had to end this way…

-I just can’t believe it’s happened…

-It’s all so sudden isn’t it…

-I only saw her the other day at the…

-Cancer eh what can you do…I had an aunt once who had the big C…

They were cliched words from cliched people of static minds. Dennis could not come up with anything better or different or worse, it was what it was and this saddened him to the core.

“IT’S SHIT…COMPLETE AND UTTER HORSE BOLLOCKS,” was what he wanted to hear.

The nurses had to usher him away at nights, forcing him to go home and sleep and face his family and their soulful mourning eyes.

-Whether he was there, by her side, or not she would soon die.

He didn’t feel right not being at the hospital. Who would hold her hand, moisturise her lips, feed her sips of water, talk to her when she appeared receptive that little bit more and more…

And the visitors gossiped of old times. They faked the frowny-sad-smile of death and sorry for your loss. But as they ushered themselves through the ocean of feeling it came across as half arsed.

They might as well have patted themselves on the back for doing the correct thing.

What if they let their thoughts run wild and the gravity of the situation hit them where it should…the world would be so much more… meaningful?

They made jokes, talked of old times and how they’d drifted a part… they’d make a more concerted effort to get to know each other all again though, ‘Oh most certainly’.

Dennis knew with the exception of the funeral he’d never see them again. And it was nothing against them as people, that’s the way life was…The family did not have a black sheep… Dennis began to believe it was himself.